Single Parenting VS Co-Parenting

Alright, here it is, something that has been WEIGHING on my mind lately, and it could get wordy or controversial, but I don't care, that's what the blog is for-discussion and expressing feelings.

Sometimes I tweet or facebook comment on having such a GREAT deal of respect for single parents when Pat works late, works on weekends, goes out at night, whatever it is, he isn't here, and TRUST ME, I do, I have sooooooo much respect for men and women who are doing it by themseleves. And by that, I mean men and women who are DOING IT ALONE!!! 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. The kids are your responsibility, there is no one else around to help you. I cannot imagine. Sure, you have a babysitter or night out every now or then, but can you imagine doing it alone? I can't even think about being the sole provider, caregiver, mother to my two kids. The thought COMPLETELY OVERWHELMS ME!

BUT, sometimes, I feel that people get the whole "single parent" title confused when they get divorced, separated, break up, whatever. When I say single parent, I am not talking about CO-PARENTING, and I am calling it that because I don't know what else to call it. I am not talking about the parents who share custody, responsibility or time with the other parent. I am sure it is very difficult to give up time with the child(ren), but when any of you married moms or dads had every other weekend and two overnights OFF, completely off, alone, to yourself, etc. It probably gets old, but I know in this house, it is a long standing joke that "every other weekend is starting to look pretty good"! I can't imagine not experiencing every single moment with my child, having step moms or dads involved in my kid's life or what not, but I can't get past "every other weekend", seriously, what if you had TWO WEEKENDS A MONTH to yourself? Is that really being a single parent? I just find it disturbing when people who have the support of their ex, claim to be a single parent. It does a diservice to the men and women out there who are doing it alone. The military moms and dads who are truly alone for months on end, that's being ALONE, widows=ALONE, and that my friends is what I would refer to as single parenting.

Hope I didn't offend too many of my loyal readers with this rant, just something I have been thinking about, would love to hear any of your comments!

Amazed

Each time I read one of Chelsea's blog posts, I laugh, I cry, I learn. It is seriously the most well written blog, and I am just amazed that this snot-nosed little person I used to baby sit has become so amazing and is enjoying such an amazing adventure through Africa!! It doesn't seem like her photos post is working, but if someone gets it to work, please let me know, I am not very good at wordpress. . . or blogger for that matter! Happy Saturday reading!

We Wish Her Well-ME THAT IS!

Tyler is such a crack up these days. The things that come out of her mouth just amaze me! Some good, some not so good, but we can't be parent of the year every day! What does make me smile is that when I am down on my luck or feeling sick, she turns on the "mother" charm, and it gives me a glimmer of hope that I am doing something right since she knows how to care! Now, if she could just get her license so that she could drive to the store and pick me up some soup.

I am NOT feeling well today, not much of a voice, and just stuffy, run down and overwhelmed. I KNEW it was coming. I woke up with that feeling in my throat Tuesday, but I knew, just knew I had to go out. Who stays home sick on their 30th birthday?? So, I pushed through the day and tried to ignore it, but after "bar hopping" on Tuesday night, the car ride home began the downward spiral. I came home, crawled into bed, and before I knew it, I awoke with a throat on FIRE and a very feverish body!

Why is "bar hopping" in quotes you may wonder? A few friends and I went to check out City North on Tuesday night. I had sampled some martinis from Blue Martini at Phoenix Cooks last year and LOVED them, so we started there for Happy Hour-it didn't disappoint! If you follow me on facebook, you have seen the picture of the pomegranate martini-TO DIE FOR! Then, we headed over to 25 degrees, one of the top 5 hamburgers I have ever had because it came with arugula and TWO cheeses which almost made it taste like there was mayo on it. Finally, we went to Ocean Prime for dessert, BEST Creme Brulee EVER! You get a BUTT LOAD of it too, not just a skimpy little dish! HOLLA! We also had a Bubbles and Berries martini, but honestly, I would save my money and head down to Blue Martini for a cheaper YUMMIER martini! SO, the definition of "bar hopping" has changed MUCH from 20-30, but it was a delightful evening, and my idea of perfect!

Tyler had her Daddy Breakfast, and unfortunately he didn't get a picture of them together, and I was too sick to offer to do so, but he did get a picture of her putting on the performance-I AM SO DISAPPOINTED in her lack of cute outfit, but again, the sickness! Also disappointed to say that I wasn't even hungover, that kind of sickness would have been tolerated the morning after "bar hopping"! I know the picture is a little blurry, but I liked it the best!!



Whenever someone is sick at Tyler's school, the teachers say, "We wish he/she well!" So now if Tyler coughs or someone is sick, we say, "We wish them well!" Just a little background in case you are wondering about the title of this blog!

Birthday Card From My Mom=PERFECT

23 on the 23rd

In honor of my 30th Birthday, here are 23 things I hope to accomplish before I am 40 years old.

1. Run a mile without stopping.

2. Travel to Hawaii-preferably on my 14 night cruise, but really, anyway I can get there, I will go!

3. Survive having teenagers-eeeek!

4. Find better health coverage.

5. Take the kids to Disney World and on a Disney Cruise.

6. Get some bedroom furniture.

7. Buy a house in my desired neighborhood.

8. Go skiing.

9. STOP biting my nails.

10. Eat at Elements while Beau MacMillan is the head chef there! I just adore him.

11. Meet The Pioneer Woman or Paula Dean! I will take either lover of butter.

12. Visit Georgia, I think secretly, I was meant to live there. I have this vision of how AMAZING it will be. Might also help me accomplish #11.

13. Own a BIG BIG BIG screen television!

14. I am cheating here because I feel it will happen soon, but go on an adults only vacation with Karissa and Josh-LOVE THEM!

15. Travel outside Arizona with Andrea, Tamara and Shannon-I seriously have never met people I enjoy traveling with so much!

16. Learn to manage my addictive personality.

17. Enroll Tyler in dance and watch her do her thing-SERIOUSLY the girl is INCREDIBLE-self taught!

18. Get organized!

19. Get a suburban.

20. Watch Pat in the courtroom.

21. Kick my dependency on Tylenol PM

22. Somehow get on the Board at Phoenix Children's Hospital-seriously the only place I feel passionately enough about to work for!

23. Gain better control of my jealousy. I would say I have improved since 20, but I have a ways to go. I am way too jealous in many aspects of my life :-(

HELP!!!!

To all of you with your cleaning schedule and what not, MORE POWER TO YOU, but I get around to cleaning when I get around to it, or when it starts to look RIDICULOUS! Anyway, THIS is what my toilet looks like a week after cleaning it.




I know, I should clean my toilets more often, but I REALLY don't want to clean my toilet once a week! I have more important things to do like blog and drink wine! Pat calls it soot, I call it mold, whatever it is, I think it is time for a maid! Anyone have any GENIUS ideas for keeping the toilet clean. I mean, the toilet itself is clean, it is just this nasty build up! I even bought one of those things were you stamp the gel on the inner ledge of the bowl, and it keeps the toilet smelling great, but doesn't prevent this build up! Actually, that was a lie, it doesn't smell great, it smells like a woodsy forest in the bathroom, a lot like pine, and we all know how I feel about the outdoors!

Material Possessions

I have VERY few items in life that I care about. I care about my wedding ring, but mostly for the symbolism and the hope that one day my daughter will care about it. Other than that, as I sit here and type this, I can't come up with one other thing I would be upset about losing. I LOVE nice things, and I am thankful that I have so very many, but I don't really love anything enough to worry about losing it. If I hear a weird noise or something is off, I always think, "Take whatever you want, just don't take my kids!" A little silent prayer or mantra. Today there was some creepy man in my yard (I think he was working on the neighbor's house), and I thought, "The kids aren't here, so take whatever you need and be on your way." To me, my kids are my life. I need nothing else, as long as I have them. I know life may be overwhelming most days, and that I complain about them and most days they drive me CRAZY, but I would be nothing without them!

Ten on Tuesday

1. Today for breakfast I had rye toast with cream cheese, for lunch I had a cheese crisp with LOTS of sour cream, and for dinner, we are having burgers with a mayo, cheese, bacon stuffing. Happy Fat Tuesday to ME! I am giving up ranch, cream cheese, mayo and sour cream for lent. I MAY DIE!

2. I rarely get any email of worth anymore. If I do get an email of worth, I rarely remember to respond because I check my email from my phone, and I don't really like responding from there.

3. I caved and went to the doctor last week, I was diagnosed with calcific tendinitis (also calcific/calcifying/calcified/calcareous tenonitis/tendonitis/tendinopathy, tendinosis calcarea, hydroxyapatite deposition disease (HADD) and calcific periarthritis), a form of tendinitis, is a disorder characterized by deposits of hydroxyapatite (a crystalline calcium phosphate) in any tendon of the body, but most commonly in the tendons of the rotator cuff (shoulder), causing pain and inflammation. Pain is often aggravated by elevation of the arm above shoulder level or by lying on the shoulder. Pain may awaken the patient from sleep. Other complaints may be stiffness, snapping, catching, or weakness of the shoulder. It was SERIOUSLY PAINFUL.

4. To treat the calcific tendinitis, I had to take to take a pack of cortisone pills that SERIOUSLY messed with my mind, body and spirit. I was HOT all the time, sweating, dizzy, had a severe headache, and I SMELLED. OMG, some people may not want to talk about it, but WOW! I couldn't go anywhere or do anything because I could smell myself.

5. I am a really good mom up until about 1:30 PM, after that, I really feel like I am still part of the working force and I should be gearing up for Happy Hour, or at least something a little more exciting than dinner, bath and bed. I feel like the end of my day is jam packed with the things I like the least about being a mom, I am working on trying to have a better attitude about this.

6. Does anyone else watch Guiliana and Bill-I think it is on the Style or E network? Anyway, they went to this amazing "couple's retreat" at Miraval in Tucson. OMG, I want to go SOOOOOOOO BAD, and I want to go with a group of couple friends. Kind of pricey, but it looks AMAZING!

7. LIME is the flavor of the month at Eegee's in March. It is my favorite flavor when mixed with the strawberry. I fully plan on driving down there one day to eat at a fast food restaurant. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? (It is going to be REALLY HARD to eat there without getting ranch for my fries-OMG, and can I not have their tuna since I gave up mayo-SERENITY NOW!)

8. I think I like the summer Olympics better, JUST SAYING!

9. On that note, watching the winter Olympics makes me want to go snowboarding-I have no idea how, just think it looks fun!

10. My grandpa crashed his computer, and he calls me about it. What does he think I know? I can't even get my pictures to face the right direction on blogger!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Having a very low key day here, some fun mixed in with chores, but we took some time out to decorate some cookies today, and I would have to say these are the best looking heart shaped cookies in town. I was impressed with the kid's creativity and ability to share. We utilized A LOT of the Valentine's Day candy we were given, which makes mommy happy because it is GONE from the house when Daddy takes the leftovers to work in the morning!

See if you can guess who decorated each set!

Blogger is not agreeing with me these days, but here are some sideways pictures of the cookies, even though they are right to me, ARGH!

Happy Valentine's Day to all my loyal readers. . .I LOVE YOU!

My Little Valentine

Sweet thing was SOOOOOO EXCITED about her Valentine's Day party on Friday! The fact that the love of her life, James, was sick didn't even put a damper on the day because he still gave her a Valentine!

Why Is It...

That when the phone rings, and I start to have a conversation, suddenly my kids are upon me with a million and one questions?

That when I open the refrigerator door, which blocks the entrance to the kitchen, someone is suddenly DESPERATE to enter?

When I decide I have to go pee, someone needs to reveal their life history to me?

If I get in the shower, one of my kids suddenly needs their a** wiped because they have gone poop?

After I get the kids dressed in the morning, they are half undressed by the time I get dressed myself, so I have to do it all over again?

This is all well and good on a normal day, but SOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT OK today. Today has been rough, and I am most definitely struggling!

Looks like it is time for Happy Hour!

Ten on Tuesday-SUPER BOWL STYLE!

Now, as you learned, I will not take pictures while the food is cooking, but there's nothing wrong with doing it once the cooking is DONE!!

1. White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies-YUM-Target Brand White Chocolate Chips, recipe on back of bag, OMG, TO DIE FOR!

2. Andes Mint Cookies, these are becoming a FAST FAVORITE around here!

3. The Pioneer Woman's Stuffed Mushrooms, YUM-O

4. Bean Dip, Football Shape!

5. Mini Bagel Hot Dogs

6. Half Moon Wings

7. Ham, Cream Cheese, and Pickle Rolls, don't knock them until you try them-DELISH!

8. Cheese and Sausage Platter

9. Chili-totally didn't take a picture! Grandma makes it EVERY year!

10. Antipasto Salad, my mom makes it and likes to think she created it, when really, she stole the recipe from a restaurant :-) NO PICTURE OF THAT EITHER-main course must have been when the wine started to kick in, LOL!!!


OMG-I spent all day Sunday taking pictures of the food, and they won't upload, maybe tomorrow, but for not, you can have sweet dreams of food!

The Pioneer Woman

OK, so I am kind of obsessed with her, and I love EVERYTHING I make from her website (try the Ginger Steak Salad-so fresh), but OMG, she must have the patience of a Saint because I would never STOP in between the cooking to take pictures of the steps!!!! I can hardly complete a recipe from start to finish without a major panic attack!

I made the Stuffed Mushrooms for the Super Bowl party tomorrow, I am telling you that Pat and I made them together, and I still wouldn't have stopped to take a picture. RIDICULOUS! Anyway, I have made these mushrooms before, and I couldn't stop eating them, such a bad thing, BUT so much easier when Pat and I did it together!

Have I mentioned I love her? I bought myself her cookbook for my birthday, and I was hiding behind the couch reading it the other night so that my kids wouldn't get out of their bed and see me already using my birthday gift!!! I wrapped it myself too!! I pretend like these things bother me, but really, I like buying my own gifts because then I know I get what I want, and I don't worry about opening the gift and hating it. I bought myself Season 2 of Melrose too! Season 1 coming your way soon, Karissa, then you have to mail it back to my mom, it is a CHAIN!!!!

Don't THESE Buttered Rosemary Rolls look incredible, I am so making them one day!!!

Ten on Tuesday

1. I love to remain in bed AS LONG AS POSSIBLE on Sunday morning. The rest of my family doesn't understand that! I just like to lie there and do nothing! Ahhhhhh!

2. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO January came and went, we didn't go to the doctor for ONE WHOLE MONTH! My kids both need well checks, but I refuse to take them until absolutely necessary because once I take them, we will have to return once they pick up some crazy germs at the doctors office.

3. Jackson is EVIL lately! He talks back, doesn't listen, it is the WORST I have ever seen him, and nothing matters to him. Yesterday, I told him he lost his privelage of going to tennis lessons (WHICH HE LOVES), he turned around and told me, "Thank you, I didn't want to go anyway!" OMG!

4. I burnt the CRAP out of the rice last night, I combined the "cook like pasta" directions with the amount of water from the "cook like rice (I don't know if that's what it is called, just sounded funny)" directions, and it resulted in a huge, flipping mess of burned smokey rice. We ate it, but it was TERRIBLE, so Pat and I had Dairy Queen last night-ANYTHING to get that disgusting taste out of my mouth-if only the kids would listen and behave, they would have had some DQ as well!

5. My house is never the right temperature, it is either too hot or too cold!

6. I saw TWO movies this weekend, When in Rome and It's Complicated. When in Rome, SUPER CUTE! Mindless entertainment, and Kirstin/Kristen Bell-whatever her name is-has the most amazing teeth, and they look INCREDIBLE on the big screen! It's Complicated was HYSTERICAL-Pat and I were laughing so hard the whole time, and we were the youngest people in the theater by like 20 years, we are OLD SOULS!

7. We also watched The Invention of Lying-made me REALLY uncomfortable the first 45 minutes, and then it became kind of long and boring.

8. SUPER BOWL SUNDAY this weekend-what's your favorite Super Bowl snack, tradition?

9. People (including my husband) would DIE if they knew how much I pay for Jackson to eat lunch at school, but it is sooooooooooooo much easier, he likes it, and it mixes it up!

10. mmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMM going to Macayo's tonight for Happy Hour, I CAN'T WAIT!!!