I have a lot of different groups of friends. I feel it takes me a long time to make friends, but when I do make a friend, and you are a good friend, friends forever! There are some things I have noticed about "groups" of friends though. I seem to struggle with belonging to a group of friends. I am a HUGE ORGANIZER! So, I feel like the roll of organizer is usually adopted by me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy doing it (mostly because I usually get to choose the place we go, and I love it!)-BUT, there is a huge BUT here. . .when people then choose to organize side events/activities, and I am not included, it really hurts my feelings. Once or twice, I get, obviously we can't do everything together all of the time, schedules will clash, people need one on one time (THEN DON'T TALK ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF ME), it is totally understandable. BUT, with some friends, the only time I hang out with them is when I organize it, when I have them to my house, when I suggest something. I feel sneaky and deceitful if I try to go out and not include everyone. It just starts to grate on my nerves eventually, and honestly, it is on my nerves today! Thanks for listening to my little rant. I swear writing on this blog is therapeutic for me, and I often think my readers might have great advice!!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Dynamics
Posted by Colleen at 10:04 AM
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6 comments:
I can really relate to this...you aren't alone in being bugged by it! Kind of related to it is your other post about having a good memory. I hate it when I remember a person or what they said and they act like they don't know me or like they don't remember what they said. THAT hurts my feelings because I remember everything! I've definitley gone through times when I've felt like I was everyone's friend but no one was MY friend. And it gets OLD real fast to be the one giving friendship all the time and getting nothing in return! I just remind myself that I'm worth knowing and that I'm a worth having as a friend and good friends (like YOU!) recognize that!!
OK - you are motivating me to invite you over more! ;o) I love that you organize because if you didn't we'd never see each other. I am just no good at coordinating schedules. My disappointment comes from the other side... I attempt to organize events and then no one comes and I am very disappointed! Maybe that is why I don't do it as much anymore...
You do an awesome job of working on friendships and keeping them going, and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise! Love you!!!
Oh! This post and comments came on a perfect day. I was "that" friend who always organized, called, etc. Then one day I said okay, I am going to stop calling and see how long it takes my friends to call me. Well, now here I am with absolutely no friends. Not one person to call, share, eat lunch with etc. My feelings are incredibly hurt and what is worse is that I am so timid in trying to make new friends because of it.
@Anonymous-I feel we should go to lunch and chat-I have so many questions!!! You can email me anytime shakakan AT aol DOT com!
I understand how you feel and have felt this way many times before... and I think as I get older I am much more accepting/forgiving of my friends and I think this is because I need them to be more accepting and forgiving of me:) I feel like I am at the mercy of my situation and that is that I have 3 kids, and one who is at the worst possible age to do just about anything!!! I feel like having kids is a board game and I keep having them and therefore being sent back to "Start" or returning to "Go" and everyone else is on their way to finish:( Don't get me wrong, love my kids and so thankful for them every day, but it is still hard to have naps and diapers when most of your friends are having coffee or playing tennis:) I hope that you never stop reaching out and organizing and inviting because that is a wonderful attribute and I know all your friends appreciate it, even if they don't always show it.
@anonymous I put down the wrong email, my husband pointed it out, shakakan23 AT aol DOT com
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