And Now for a Sappy Moment!

I know that Pat and I have not been able to have kids for over a year now, but CORRECT THAT, Pat hasn't been able to have kids for over a year now, but I COULD! Not that I was planning on running off to have some kids with Justin Timberlake, but as of this coming Tuesday, I can't run off with Justin to have his babies. I know, I know-what are the chances, BUT a girl can dream!!!!!!! Right!??????

I DON'T want more kids, I can barely handle the two I have, and we are SOOOOOOOOOO BLESSED, so blessed, some people would love to have a boy and a girl, the boy first so that he can look out for his younger sister (some people think this way, I don't really care), and Jackson does that, he is GREAT, really!!!!! SOOOOOoooooooo, why do I seem sooooooooooo incredibly sad about this stage of my life coming to an end??? I really probably can't have more kids anyway, we tried, biggest blessing of my life was NOT getting pregnant. . .tried for a year, it was NOT meant to be!

BUT, I read all these blogs, see all these people getting pregnant, read about the people who CANNOT get pregnant, and it makes me wonder about what life with a third child would be like. I thought Jackson and Tyler were the most beautiful babies in the world (well, Tyler was kind of scary and scrawny, and I didn't really know what to do with her 7 pound 3 ounce self after all of Jackson's 9 pounds 9 ounces, but she "chubbed" up a little and got cute, now she's gorgeous, so really it all evens out in the end!), but I see other blogs, and really ALL babies look like my babies, so they are beautiful. It reminds me of all the FANTASTIC clothes, the smells, the first smile, step, tooth, etc. WHY DON'T THEY REMIND ME OF THE BAD? Being up all night, never sleeping, fighting with your husband because they don't know how to help (OMG, that still happens, does it ever stop!), the crying, the whining (still ongoing), not being able to eat real food, never leaving the house without fifteen changes of clothes, POTTY TRAINING, etc.

I may have just reminded myself of all the reasons why there is no baby 3, but it still breaks my heart, just a little, to think about never having a baby in the house again. It makes me smile a little though to think about the fact that the two little loves in my life, even with all their drama, illness, whining, crying, issues, etc, still make me tear up, thinking about the fact that they nor any other child will be a baby in this house, EVER AGAIN!



Oooooh, and how can I forget my Grandma, and how if you have a baby in the state of AZ, she will come sit in your hospital room for HOURS, just holding the baby so that you can sleep, watch TV, eat, whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I know that the procedure will improve my quality of life, or at least I hope, but it doesn't go unnoticed that these are the last of my precious babies!